My first Saturday living with the family they took me to a restaurant on the Via Appia. The Via Appia is an extremely famous ancient Roman road. If you ever visit Rome you really should spend a day walking down it. Along the way you will see tombs, rest stations (where they would swap out their horses), and many monuments to the different families who once lived here. One of my favorite things about this road is that the original stones display groove marks left behind from years of chariots pounding down upon them.
Leaving the dog to guard the car and potentially pee on the leather seats, we ventured into a small brick building. It is part of the ancient Roman wall and itself was once a rest station as mentioned above. Even before stepping inside, I could tell this place had character and all that you look for in an authentic non touristy Italian restaurant. Any description I could give you would not do this place justice. As you step through the door you smell grilled meat and sauteed mushrooms and hear the buzz of a Lazio match playing in the other room. The place is decked out with Lazio jerseys and pictures of the many famous soccer players who make this place a frequent stop. Right above my chair were four pictures of the owner (back then with more hair...) with Fellini. Massimo went into great detail about the history of the restaurant and that most likely you couldn't just walk in and eat. You either need to know the owners, an older couple and their 3 middle aged sons, or you need to be someone rich and famous. If they don't like the look of your dog or just simply don't like you, all their tables are “full”. There is no set price but it is understood that when you are there you come to EAT and EAAAATTT you shall do. Sorry no salads on the menu.
The place had all the characters mandatory for the Italian version of Cheers I am planning in my head. There was the woman who's bust was falling out of her low cut shirt, but some how made up for it by wearing a gaudy rosary with Mary firmly standing up right between her cleavage; a woman with a well groomed poodle who peed on the floor twice and everyone just seemed to think it was funny; an elderly couple who kept pinching each others butts; a dirty cop; a druggy, a room full of family and friends all of whom were Lazio fans of course, and then there was us. It was very obvious that Massimo is very close to the 3 brothers. Each in turn came over and picked on the girls. One flung the older of the two girls over his shoulder and wouldn't put her down for a few minutes. One brother explained to me that 5 years ago he and Massimo drove all night from Rome to the Alps. They then proceeded to snowboard all day and then partied throughout the night and drove back to Rome the following morning. At no point did they sleep.
The atmosphere did not feel like that of an official place of business but as if you were in someone's home. Over appetizers we watched the owner grill steaks and chicken on the ancient brick grill. When I say appetizers in the plural form, I mean there were ten plates of them! Caprese, sauteed mushrooms, grilled egg plant, artichoke hearts, olives, salami, more salami, etc. Of course there was several bottles of red wine. The girls quickly fell asleep and one of the brothers gathered up some coats to make pillows for them. Then came the first plate, freshly hand made gnocchi! This was followed by a second plate of either steak or grilled chicken. For dessert a platter of a variety of Italian sweets.
Although I do believe I have found my favorite restaurant in the entire world, it wasn't only the food that made this night unforgettable. Half way through the appetizers one of the brothers (one was bald, one was fat, and one was very tall), to be specific the lanky one, got in a heated argument with a man sitting at the table next to us. Their argument died down and he walked away. This happened three times. The third time the man wearing a dark blue suit with long Fabio like hair and overly manicured eyebrows (as most Italian men do in fact have) pushed his chair back from the table and said lets take this in the street. At this point all three brothers run into the street and all begin yelling at the man. Unable to hear what was going on outside, in addition to being unsure of what the first 3 arguments were about (seeing as they were all in rapid Italian), I had practically no idea what was going on. All Massimo could tell me was that the man in the blue suit, who will now be referred to as the jerk, was not respecting the brother. After all was said and done the jerk walks and and announces that he will not be paying for what he has eaten thus far. The brothers all came back inside and were beyond angry. The lanky one kept pacing back and forth as his mother rung her hand towel and begged him to stop. At this point he comes over to our table and recounts the whole story to Massimo who proceeds to translate. Basically the jerk, was a cop and he was selling drugs to the guy at his table. The lanky brother had asked him to stop three times and had explained that this was a family oriented place. The cop arrogantly ignored him. Once they were in the street the cop pulled open his jacket to display his gun and said “You can't mess with me, I am a cop!” To that the brothers were like “Hell yea we can. Get the Hell out!” Add in a few Italian bad words and there you go.
For the rest of the evening everyone in the restaurant was entertained by the retelling of the drama and each guest proceeded to tell the brothers that “Avete ragione!” You guys are right! “Bravo” Good job... etc. At one point Massimo walked me back through the kitchen to get a feel for the whole place. One man asked if I was English and Massimo jubilantly said “No she is American!” To this the whole room exploded with “AHH AMERICANA!” I guess I was an exciting visitor to the “Cheers” clan.
NIIICE. Good food, inviting ambiance, and free entertainment. Something like that would never happen in the States! Anyway- there was a happy ending. One that may lead to me returning to the US with an extra 20 lbs and potentially a fourth butt cheek.
I wish you good company and happy eating-
Kristin
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